I was once in a relationship with a psychiatrist who was depressed himself but came across as very understanding. Gradually, however, I realized that his thoughtfulness felt like an invisible manipulation, because he could always use logical words to make me unable to refute, and felt that I was slowly losing myself in this relationship.
At that time, he took the initiative to pursue me, we met through the Internet, and I still liked another person in my heart at that time. But I still accepted him because of the lack of love in my heart. He knew that I had other people I liked, and that person already had a girlfriend, so my contact with him became less, but I could never let go. Instead, he accused me of wanting to be a third party, and even said that I wanted to use improper means to destroy other people's families.
But I was just trying to keep a quiet eye on the guy I liked, was I not even qualified to be friends anymore? I admit I had fantasized about being with him, but the reality was no longer possible. Instead, I've been hiding this emotion.
Later, he repeatedly brought this up to me until one day I suddenly came to my senses. If I had to choose between the person I liked and him, I chose to keep watching the one I liked and broke up with him. Before that, he even advised me not to listen to my girlfriends, saying that they would lead me astray. When I proposed to break up, he even threatened me with suicide, but I was still determined to separate. He also threatened to carve my name on his forehead before he died and remember me in his next life, but in the end he didn't do anything extreme.
Hello, friend. My heart goes out to you who lacked love and met another who also lacked love.
Want to give you a warm hug. It has to be said that no matter what the status of the other person is, such as a psychiatrist or a higher position, it doesn't change the fact that there is a lack of love inside a person.
Based on what you describe, I would summarize it as follows: you met someone who wanted to care for you when you were lacking love, but who lacked strength himself. He went through the relationship to find a sense of being and to fill the emptiness inside.
Because a truly safe, warm and healthy relationship doesn't make a person feel threatened, worried or upset on a regular basis. And a person with high self-worth will naturally take care of the other person's feelings and use good communication.
Sadly, neither of those things seem to come through in your relationship.
If you'd like some advice, as an aside, I have a few thoughtful tips that I hope will help.
Please be clear about the purpose of your relationship first.
Some people fall in love to get rid of loneliness or to find a companion, others have to meet a soul mate to talk about it, and still others see other people talk about it and follow the trend, so as not to appear to be out of place.
Which of your motives for falling in love is more favorable?
The best partner we can find is often not beyond our own state in life.
The state of life includes both physical and psychological conditions. For example, an optimistic and positive person tends to attract like-minded people who understand and support each other and grow together.
On the flip side, if the positive person and the pessimist get together, it may be because the pessimist has qualities such as goodness within them, but reality isn't a TV show, and perfect endings for the bully and the dumb white guy are rare.
The essence of a relationship is one that is run by both partners, whether it's material or emotional support that needs to be given together in order to be maintained well.
If you had to choose again, what kind of partner would you pick? When you are clear about what you want, the chances of meeting the right person are higher.
Also, when you can be financially independent and mature as a person, your chances of meeting a quality relationship increase.
I hope the day comes soon for you.
To summarize briefly, the key to being in a relationship is to be clear about your needs, status and what you can give. This way when faced with a suitor, you will be able to screen naturally and avoid unnecessary harm.
I wish you all the best.
