I am 29 years old and I fell in love with a 32-year-old divorced man who has a child. In the beginning, although I knew in my heart that the relationship might not be smooth sailing, I still felt that he was the right person, and even thought that even if he was divorced, I would still be willing to marry him.
However, now that I'm actually going into marriage, I'm starting to hesitate and panic.
I realized how I couldn't accept his daughter, and the thought of not having a two-person world after marriage was especially hard.
However, in other ways, he's well qualified and considerate of me, and with the lessons learned from our last relationship, the two of us are actually quite compatible. I have feelings for him, and aside from the kids bit, he's pretty much my ideal marriage partner.
Without him, I might have met someone else, but surely I would have had to give up some of my conditions.
I've been depressed a lot lately, full of unease about the future, wondering if I should stop the breakup in time or just tough it out like I'm overcoming the nerves of giving a speech on stage.
Add to that the fact that our friends don't think highly of us, and it makes me even more torn.
Hi, I'm counselor Yoyogi World.
You have fallen in love with a single dad with a daughter and have reached the stage of talking about marriage but suddenly stopped. Though he meets your expectations in many ways, his daughter has become a hurdle in your heart, making it difficult for you to cross. Now you feel confused, distressed and depressed.
I can totally understand how you feel. Having confidence in your relationship while worrying about your daughter and the opposition of your friends is killing you. This kind of dilemma is a headache for anyone who encounters it, so your emotions are normal.
Let's think about this together: what is it that makes you start to hesitate? This might give you some inspiration.
Share my advice:
1. Revisit self-growth: Review your past relationship experiences and think about what you have learned and lost from them. Analyzing these carefully can help you grow better.
2. Face the choice, weigh the pros and cons: you are now in a dilemma, you can list the advantages and disadvantages of breaking up and getting married, and after comparing, the answer may be clearer.
3. Talk to your friends and family more often: Tell your worries to people you trust and listen to what they have to say. As the saying goes, the authorities are in the dark and the onlookers are in the dark, and their support is important.
4. Courage: Life is full of intersections, and this is the time to be rational and courageous. Your confusion is only temporary, so trust yourself to make a choice. Come on, we are all on the way.
Good luck!
