Senior year of high school is almost over, but my relationship with my girlfriend is getting worse and worse, and it's really upsetting to argue and even fight every day.
When I get along with my girlfriend, I always feel that she doesn't care about me, which leads to our frequent quarrels and conflicts, leaving scars on both sides. Every time we fight, it's especially extreme, and we also self-harm. Although I feel sorry for her, I've tried to communicate and solve the problem, but the problem always recurs. She often snubs me for no reason and ignores me, instead running off to play with Xiaolin - she's always the first to notice when Xiaolin is sick or unhappy, but she doesn't care about me. I was so tired and breathless that I sometimes even wanted to die, and she used to self-injure and bite herself. I love her so much and my heart goes out to her, but I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know how we're going to work this out between us?
Hello dear friend! I am the respondent Waiting for the flowers to bloom!
 You mentioned that you and your girlfriend often argue and fight because she doesn't care about you, and both parties get hurt, and the arguments are also extreme and involve self-injurious behavior.
★ You feel that your girlfriend's not caring hurts you, so you use anger and conflict to get her attention. You probably both realize that this way of being together is exhausting and trying to change is not working well.
🌻 What are the specific ways your girlfriend doesn't care? What do you expect her to do, or what kind of caring do you expect?
🌻 Your inner "inner child" may crave constant attention, but your girlfriend is insensitive to the need, causing you to resent her exhaustion. What is your family model like? How is your relationship with your parents? Do they fulfill your emotional needs? For example, do your parents pay excessive attention to you or ignore you like your girlfriend? Were your parents busy and neglectful when you were a child, causing you to repeat this pattern now?
🌻 What is the relationship between Kobayashi and your girlfriend? Why is she always the first to notice Kobayashi's moods? You may have some jealousy in your heart and feel like the care you should be enjoying as a boyfriend is being taken away from you.
★ Do you have siblings? Did your parents neglect you by focusing on other children?
This relationship has left you battered and bruised. Have you considered separating for a while to calm down and think about the significance of each other? If you continue to fight and clash, even the deepest feelings will be worn down, and there will only be pain in the future when you remember.
