I was often tired of the way I cowered and appeared incompetent. At work, I was asked to transfer, and my leader gave me a comment that I lacked responsibility, needed to improve my learning skills, and was interfering with my coworkers' progress. But I felt that this assessment was too one-sided and completely missed my efforts. I admit that I have not been able to excel at my job in order to balance family and work, but I have been dedicated during work hours.
I want to change myself and I want to change the way others see me.
Personally, I have a problem with being a bad people person and wanting to be able to switch freely in a crowd and talk and laugh.
My husband is obviously not the dominant type in the family, but he is so bossy around the house that he makes me feel like I have no place. I have a lot of parenting ideas that I feel are correct, but he thinks they are just reading from a book, and the point is that he never reads parenting books himself, and only makes strong arguments. My mother-in-law also foxed me and treated me with little respect. I feel completely passive in my life, which is not conducive to my child's growth or my personal health, what should I do?
Hello, my friend.
Current obsession:
⏰ Family disharmony
⏰ Bad job.
⏰Individuals aren't properly developed
analyze
⬆️ concepts perception gap
You say that your husband and mother-in-law disapprove of your ideas and think parenting is fake and by-the-book, and you feel angry and unappreciated.
This phenomenon is actually caused by the cognitive gap between you. You will read a lot of parenting books and learn the scientific method of child rearing, while your husband may only accept the traditional concepts, leading you to disagree with each other.
Your mother-in-law and you are two generations apart, there is a generation gap, and information is received differently, which also affects your harmony.
⬆️ efforts go unseen
You do work hard at work, but your coworkers or leaders comment that you don't work hard because your family takes up time, which is the opposite of the truth.
Many people feel that performance is bad, but proper presentation is good. Your efforts can easily go unrecognized if they are done in secret and not seen by others, along with a lack of results to show.
⬆️ clutter has gotten in your way!
You say you wanted to develop your personal growth and wanted a better environment for your children, but didn't do it because you were distracted by too many trivial things around you.
People have limited energy, and when they are distracted by busy things, they can only use a small portion of their energy to pursue growth, which is naturally less effective.
Recommended Methods
✅ Couples are meant to be together and parenting is even more so
As a couple, you have to share a lot of things, and childcare is a top priority. Raising children is not your job alone, it is also your husband's responsibility.
You can learn about scientific parenting methods together, such as pulling him along when you read a book or letting him read to you, so that he can also learn and agree with you, and the family will be more harmonious.
✅ Learn to "color" your efforts.
Since you have made an effort, add some color to the effort to make it more conspicuous. For example, when chatting with colleagues, share the difficulties encountered, or show the learning process through the circle of friends, so that others can see your efforts.
✅ Learning to Disconnect
Energy is limited, focus on what is important. Start by streamlining your life and getting rid of unnecessary items to avoid wasting energy.
Stay away from people who give you negative comments that don't contribute to growth and just ignore them.
Disconnection can also be applied to friends, coworkers, habits and emotions to make life easier.
Good luck!
