The girl I like hates me because of my unintentional words, what should I do?
I have a crush on a girl and we got along pretty well before.
I worked up the courage to confess my love over winter break and she politely declined.
We kind of drifted apart after that, but a couple weeks ago she reached out to talk to me again and I thought it would be nice to be just friends.
Today her friend came over to flirt with me and I casually joked "we broke up".
She was especially angry when she heard about it.
I'm especially upset right now.
The
The
I didn't mean it. It was a joke. Why is everyone blaming me?
What did I do wrong?
Hi, I can feel from your description that you are both anxious and confused, so I'll give you a warm hug first (...・ω・.)ノ♡
Regarding your question "What did I do wrong?", my opinion is that from your point of view, that remark was just unintentional, but it may have become hurtful to her. In interpersonal interactions, everyone has a different emotional tolerance, and if a remark makes the other person uncomfortable, whether intentional or not, it can have a negative impact.
If you want to reconcile, you need to help her digest the negativity first.
When a person is unhappy, her emotions will take over for a while, and at this time she will be wary of the person who upset her and may not listen to anything. Either wait for her emotions to calm down naturally, or you can learn to ease the relationship by apologizing.
Many relationship problems are due to poor apologies, and in fact, effective apologies can help in all interpersonal interactions.
You can try this "Five Steps to Apologize".
1. Expressing apologies: Although "I'm sorry" may sound trite, it must be said.
2. Admitting fault: reflecting directly on one's own failures, without beating around the bush
3. Make amends: e.g., a small gift, or a helping hand when she needs it.
4. Sincere repentance: after stating that they are aware of their mistakes, they promise to pay attention to their words and deeds in the future.
5. Asking for forgiveness: ask directly "Can you forgive me?"
But be careful, don't get defensive when apologizing or the other person may think you're not sincere enough.
I hope these tips are helpful, and if they are inspiring you can give them a like 😊
