I'm going to graduate soon, and I'm preparing for graduate school and judicial exams at the same time, which is really super stressful. Although I especially want to work hard to improve myself, I always feel that no one around me understands me or gives me any comfort.
I feel that my parents are the people who don't understand me the most, today and my mom video, she actually said that it's better if you can't pass the exams, and if you can't pass the exams, you can go to work and pour cold water on such words. In fact, last year, after the judicial examination did not pass, she always said so, not to mention care about me, let me feel that she just think I can not get, do not want to support me to study again.
It really feels so hard, my mom seems to have changed, or maybe she's always been like that, extra pushy and utilitarian. She can't wait for me to get into graduate school or go to work right away so that she can look good in front of her friends, realizing that she probably doesn't feel like she can live without showing off.
Can't even communicate with her now, every time we talk, I feel like she doesn't love me and only cares about her little vanity.
I thought I was strong enough to move on and cry myself through it, even if I had no one to comfort me.
But when my aunt called to video me with a few concerns, I couldn't hold back my tears at once, and I could feel that she really cared for me.
This kind of care my parents never gave, the more I grow up instead the more vulnerable ...... When I think about it, I can not understand my mom even more.
Hello, my dear friend, I'm Cowan Emotional Psychology.
I can especially empathize with your current troubles and give you a warm hug first.
⭕ The role of mom often has an idealized image in our minds.
From the time we are children, we have archetypal concepts of mother and father.
This mother archetype is often expected to be too high, especially at a young age, and we always want her to be perfect.
Now at this stage, you may still have similar expectations of your mom to give you love and support when you need it.
Just like when we were kids, our mom always took care of us, no matter what our difficulties or needs were.
But the reality is that we are grown up and face challenges that may be beyond mom's ability to handle, and that's when it's even more important to tackle them on our own.
⭕ Love is indeed the force that drives us forward, but adulthood is also about learning to slowly become independent from our families of origin.
It's like breaking a cocoon into a butterfly, a process of growth and transformation. Mom's probably done her part, she has her own vanity needs, that's normal and part of her life.
We need to separate ourselves from this dependence and work on our own to achieve our goals and take good care of our mom in the future.
⭕ Complaining and dissatisfaction is actually a sign that we are not yet fully independent.
I think the lives of parents and children are like two parallel lines. Early on, they were closely connected because of blood ties, but the two generations have different backgrounds and pursuits of the times, meaning that our future paths will be different.
Let's grow together, share and learn together.
I'm glad I had the good fortune to meet you here.
Go for it! One Heart and I will always support you.
