I have just had three counseling sessions, but I feel that nothing has worked, as if I just talked a lot with the counselor, and although the other person gives empathy, I still feel scared, nervous, and even resistant to going to counseling. Does this mean that I am not a good match for the counselor?
Hello friend, hearing you say that, I can really feel your uneasiness and struggle. As it happens, I have encountered similar counseling cases, which are very similar to yours, and I hope I can give you some simple and practical advice.
Counseling was felt to be pointless after 3 sessions.
There may be several factors involved behind this.
🧚🏻♀️ First, do you set counseling goals that are close to reality?
Sometimes, as visitors, we especially want things to get better quickly, and so we expect to completely change our state through one or two counseling sessions. However, it is important to realize that a person who is stuck in a rut is often the result of cognitive and emotional problems that have accumulated over a long period of time.
Like a fool removing a mountain, you can't remove the mountain in one day. Our way of thinking and our emotional habits have been formed over the years, and the key is to see if you are making progress rather than staying put every time.
🧚🏻♀️ Secondly, the counseling parties need to build a trusting relationship by taking their time together.
How to understand it. The ability to empathize, as you mentioned, is indeed part of building a relationship, but a good, trusting relationship is not enough to rely on empathy alone.
It requires mutual understanding, help, empathy, and waiting until the counselor gives advice that you can apply in your life and solve problems to deepen your connection.
After all, we all start out as strangers, and I can see that you are a delicate minded and rather slow to warm up. It should be a good way to gradually build trust in your counselor if you do so through some simple little interactions in your life.
🧚🏻♀️ Similarly, what kind of fears do you have about counseling?
Are you worried about the high cost, poor results, or wasting time?
If the above is the case, it needs to be analyzed specifically. But one thing that remains constant is [honesty]. The counseling process itself is an opportunity to show the dark side of the heart, and sometimes expose the blind spot, if you have too many worries behind you, but to your detriment, I hope you can directly communicate with the counselor out.
🍄 Counselors vary in their abilities, so if you really feel you can't fit in, you might also consider trying a different one as a reference and comparison.
In any case, being able to face the problem head on is already a brave start, kudos to you! I hope everything goes well for you! Let's keep talking in the comments section if you need to~🦋🦋🦋
