My child is in middle school, and recently I've noticed that her male teacher often calls her to the office alone and gives her little gifts from time to time.
As the saying goes, you can't be too defensive, and a male teacher suddenly acting this way does make people a little suspicious, so we'd better sit down and talk with our kids first to find out what's going on.
1.Give your child the basics of sex so she understands what behaviors are out of bounds
The child is already in middle school and may not have had much exposure to sex education before, she has to be made aware of which parts of the body are private and not to be touched by others. If she encounters an uncomfortable situation, how to protect herself or call for help, these parents can teach their child in advance and help her make a simple emergency plan.
Of course, it's best to let mom talk about these kinds of topics, because it involves girls' privacy and it might be awkward to talk to dad. But let the child firmly believe that mom and dad will always be behind her and will stand by her in any case.
2.Getting to the bottom of the facts, not wrongly accusing the good guys and not letting the bad guys off the hook
In reality, there are indeed a few teachers who will make use of their positions to do inappropriate things. We can first quietly inquire about the reputation of the teacher to see if he has any bad records in the past.
If you notice a problem, talk to your child urgently and teach her to learn to refuse solo invitations. If necessary, you can contact the classroom teacher or have your child go to the office in pairs to avoid opportunities to be alone.
If the teacher has a good reputation, we can get the specifics from the child first to see if any boundaries were crossed. Tell your child not to be afraid and in case she does get hurt to speak up, it's not her fault and the parents will find a way to deal with it.
3.Observe in secret to avoid oops and respond appropriately to different situations
If the teacher is just being kind, such as publicly praising or rewarding the student, then we can wait and see. When appropriate, we can also thank the teacher in person for his or her concern.
But be careful, if the gift is only for our child, it may attract comments from classmates. We can politely express our hope that the teacher will treat them equally so that our child will not be isolated.
In case the teacher really has bad intentions, we have to quietly collect evidence and report it if we have to. The key is to protect the child and pay more attention to her psychological changes.
I am Fanny, the world and I love you.
