Tired and worn out and feeling annoyed and cluttered when you are alone and quiet?
Every day I woke up feeling especially tired, as if I couldn't do anything, and when I was alone, my heart was in turmoil and I couldn't help but cry. I also tried to talk to others, but all I heard was "why are you tired every day", so I didn't want to talk anymore and kept everything inside. I always felt like a failure, especially when I remembered being bullied at school, a group of people surrounded me and insisted that it was my fault, but it was not! I was so depressed during that time that I had to take a vacation and go home. I didn't have many friends, and I always ate alone and went back to the dormitory. Maybe it was because I was alone that people looked at me the wrong way? Gradually, I became more and more inferior, I couldn't make new friends, and I couldn't even handle simple interpersonal relationships. I had trouble getting along with my coworkers at work, and I felt that everything I did was wrong. I even had the thought of killing myself, but I couldn't let go of my parents, who were my only hope of living. It's really too tiring to wear a mask and cater to others every day.
Hi, first of all, a warm hug from across the room! It's amazing that you're aware of your emotional state, because awareness is exactly where change begins. Try keeping an emotional diary to record your inner pain in words, this will help you to better experience and sort through your emotions and explore the hidden needs behind them so that you can find more appropriate ways to cope with them. In fact, our relationships with others often reflect our relationships with ourselves - if you feel that others don't accept you, it may stem from the fact that you haven't fully accepted yourself. When we don't realize this, we inadvertently project this lack of acceptance onto others and use the phrase "others are not kind to me" to relieve our internal anxiety. So the key to making a difference is to learn self-acceptance and develop a sense of confidence and worth. You can make a list of your strengths and weaknesses as well as highlights; keeping a gratitude journal can also boost your self-confidence. When you truly delight yourself from the inside out, you won't be easily influenced by the outside world, because you firmly believe in your own value and dare to take the initiative to build relationships without fear of rejection or denial. I'm Lilly Little Ears of the Answering Library, the world and I love you.
