I am 25 years old and the only daughter in my family. I quit my job at the end of last year to go home and prepare for the civil service exam full time because I was not getting along well with my coworkers before and my symptoms of depression worsened.
I've been in the civil service for two years now, and last year I had an interview for a career program but didn't make it to the bank. This year, I applied for a cross-city unit 6 hours away from my home (my family said that the conditions there were good before I applied), but I was disappointed when I saw it on the ground - the environment is relatively simple, there is only an old street, and the houses are very old. Now every day torn whether to go or not, depression feels like a relapse, the heart is particularly difficult.
If you go there, you're really not used to the living environment: the diet is based on pasta (my family eats rice all year round), and the overall atmosphere is very different from back home.
If you don't go, you'll have to look for a job again now that you're unemployed, and you'll even have to prepare for the exam for another year. But the civil service examination is very variable, next year can not get on the test is still unknown.
My family advised me to go to work first, saying "having a job is the most important thing, it's the same everywhere".
What the hell am I supposed to choose?
Hi, I'm Summer Sugar, the platform's heart exploration coach. I saw your request for help in the Q&A section and have a basic understanding of your situation. Your experience has been very emotional for me - the resilience that you've been working on adjusting yourself and persevering with your preparation and growth despite the many challenges that depression brings is really great. You've always moved forward despite the ups and downs of the process, and that's especially rewarding.
If you string together the things you've encountered recently, you'll realize that no matter how circumstances change, certain factors can trigger mood swings, and it seems to become a cyclical pattern.
Therefore, the key to answering the question "to go or not to go" is not whether the external conditions are good or bad, but whether you are really ready to deal with the new environment in your heart.
When I say mentally prepared, I'm mainly referring to having reasonable expectations for the future while being able to find a pace that makes you comfortable in a dynamic environment.
Reasonable expectations:
Reasonable expectations mean planning to meet realistic conditions while accepting that things will not go exactly as envisioned. For example, the company environment was good before but the interpersonal relationship was not well handled, and now the civil service post has encountered the problem of poor hardware conditions. In fact, any job may have similar challenges, and civil service positions may also have interpersonal difficulties in the future, all of which need to be mentally planned for in advance.
Finding the balance:
It is a normal psychological reaction for people to feel anxious in unfamiliar environments. Those with strong adaptive ability will quickly discover the advantages of the new environment and focus on the positive; while those with weak adaptive ability tend to dwell on the negative factors repeatedly, making it more difficult to integrate. It is important to realize that it is difficult to change the external environment, what we can adjust is our own mindset and way of coping, otherwise, even if we change to a seemingly better environment, we may repeat the previous distress.
I hope you will slowly find a way to live in harmony with your environment and have your own sense of stability.
I'm Summer Sugar, if there is any specific confusion, you can click on the bottom of the "One-on-One Interpretation" to choose the heart exploration paid service to ask me questions.
