In college, my roommates began to isolate me when I was serious about my studies; they ostracized me when I was in a relationship. They either didn't talk to me or the whole dormitory came together to target me, feeling like everything I said was wrong and always disliked. They can put on any face they want, but I can't be emotional with them. Whenever they ask me for help with something, I try my best to help, and I share good learning resources or part-time job opportunities with them, but they never think of me when they have benefits. When I need their help for something, they push back and complain.
I really feel my heart is so tired, and my whole body can't hold it together.
Hi classmate, I can especially understand how you feel when I read your message.
I went through a similar situation back in the day, it was exactly the same.
Let me share how I handled it then.
I chose to let go of some of my own things and spend more time with my roommates, paying attention to their needs and feelings.
In the face of their unkindness, I chose to be tolerant and accommodating, and instead of antagonizing them, I took the initiative to participate in their activities.
Later, when I graduated, they all thought I was a real and simple person, but in fact, I was that kind of more honest personality.
In retrospect, there were good points and shortcomings in my approach.
On the bright side, staying genuine, accommodating and generous is indeed a great way to approach relationships.
But the downside is that I was a bit overly ingratiating and fearful of conflict and didn't stick to what I stood for. So my advice is this: serious study and doing your own thing is something that must be adhered to because your path has to be your own.
However, you also have to learn to pay attention to your roommates' emotions and needs and not be too idiosyncratic and immersed in your own world. Otherwise others will think you are different and even become jealous. I suggest you properly curb your sharpness and work on it privately, but improve your interpersonal skills and care and satisfy others more.
Children, life is like chopsticks, doing things and being human should learn to unite different people, not just focus on yourself. To communicate more expression, sincere concern and tolerance of other people's lack of understanding, as long as you work hard, you will win respect.
When you have a problem, don't just look at what others are doing wrong, think about what you are doing as well. Imagine if you see a roommate who only focuses on studying every day and does not socialize with others, would you feel comfortable? It's right to study hard, but it's wrong to ignore the big family in the dormitory, and you need to pay more attention to the feelings of your "brothers and sisters".
