Hi everyone, I've just been married for two months and my husband is exceptionally considerate of me and I love him very much.
But I always felt a little uncomfortable whenever I spent his money.
He twice took the initiative to give me the card, the first time I politely refused, the second time I took it, available or feel strange, the heart is too much.
I've never asked him to turn in his paycheck card, unlike some of my sisters. When my friends advised me to do so, I didn't think it was necessary, after all, it's not easy to make money, and he wasn't obligated to hand it over to me unless he wanted to.
But sometimes my heart is quite conflicted and I suddenly feel uneasy and wonder if it means he loves me more if he offers to give me his card.
I often panic during fights, thinking about where else I can go besides this current home and my mother's home, and it's especially scary.
Our relationship is actually quite good, but why do I keep obsessing about it? I used to think I was pretty independent and wouldn't rely on anyone.
But since meeting my husband, I've found myself becoming more and more dependent on him, but inside I long to maintain that independence I used to have.
I would talk to him about these worries, but sometimes I regretted saying it for fear of annoying him.
I'm not very good-tempered at times, but he's always patient, and I'm worried that over time he'll run out of patience and his love will fade.
My brain is a mess, it's a hot day, I hope I didn't wind you up.
Hi, I'm Dodo, a friend who likes to share his heart and soul.
I hope my opinion will be of some help to you.
I've noticed that you're in a kind of paradox.
It is recommended that you"Dependent Husband"and"Independence."Make a choice between - find what you really want.
You start out with an "independent" mindset, and you feel awkward spending your husband's money because it doesn't fit with your personal attitude of independence.
I've never asked him to turn in his paycheck card, unlike some of my sisters. When my friends advise me to do so, I don't think it's necessary, after all, it's not easy to earn money, he's not obliged to hand it over to me unless he wants to. But sometimes my heart is quite contradictory, suddenly feel uneasy, will think if he took the initiative to give me the card, does it mean he loves me more.
You are disturbed by other girls' practices (e.g. cognitive influences) and friends' advice (social pressures), and your "independence" begins to waver, and you start to expect your husband to give you his paycheck.
To put it bluntly, you're being influenced by the voices around you, voices that come from friends you have a hard time saying no to, but they clash with your inner, independent thoughts - you're kind of losing yourself.
There's really no basis for the statement that "giving you money is loving you" - it's just one way to show love, but not the only one.
You want your husband to give you the money, this expectation itself deviates from the "independence", that is to say, you began to rely on him, shifted the center of gravity to him, not so independent.
If you want to stay independent, then it's best to politely decline the paycheck card from your husband and do what is consistent with your independent attitude.
Is an independent girl that opinionated?
Haha, that's my tip.
If you're more interested in dependence., enjoy the security that your husband brings, then continue to be dependent - even if it means letting go of part of your independent self.
The key is to see what your heart desires most
Good luck.
