My college friend came all the way to the city to visit me, and we hadn't even seen each other in over a decade! I told my husband in advance to help me entertain her. Unfortunately, I broke my ankle and couldn't go out with my classmate, so she stayed home with me and chatted. Two days later, my husband had agreed to take us out to dinner, but he had a temporary dinner, probably felt that it was not appropriate to take two people to go, and promised us, but only took my classmates to go, let me rest at home. Although the surface is fine, but I always feel awkward in my heart, so I reminded him a few words. He apologized at that time, and this matter is over. Two days later, he said a friend invited him to dinner and asked us to go together. After he called me, he privately contacted my classmate and took her to a poker game without telling me! Because I don't play cards and I don't smoke, and my classmates love to play these. He also gave my classmate a red packet as a lottery. At night he called and said he had picked up my classmate and asked me to take a taxi to the hotel. I got angry at once! At night, I snapped at him, and he thought I was being unreasonable, so I pulled the plug on him in anger. I did not expect the next day, he ran directly to my store, took the house keys, dumping words let me pack things to get out! You guys say, this day can still live on?
Hello friend! Thank you in advance for your trust and sharing. Listening to your description, I can sense that your husband's words and actions have been particularly hurtful to you, so a warm hug to you first!
Personal Boundaries
Personal boundaries are like a line we draw for ourselves to determine what behavior is reasonable and safe, how others should treat us appropriately, and how we should react when others cross the line. It's clear that your husband has a blurred sense of boundaries with the opposite sex, which steps directly on your toes and makes you feel hurt and angry.How to deal with anger
- The first step is to figure out what ignites your anger.
For example: that overly casual way your husband interacts with the opposite sex.
Step 3 Find the Root of Anger - Your Needs
Anger is often because we have needs that are not being met.
For example, what you need is for him to maintain clear boundaries when interacting with the opposite sex.
Punishing the other person doesn't work at all from the point of view of satisfying needs.
In anger we are prone to feel that the other person should pay for their behavior.This is actually pointing fingers at each other and implying that the other is at fault and irresponsible.But this kind of judgment only escalates the conflict and does not solve the problem.Give each other a little space. Calm down and think about it first. Try to understand what needs the other person is trying to express behind their anger; Good communication is when both parties voice their feelings and needs and talk together to find common ground. Pulling the plug and kicking people out are just evasive and will not cure the problem. Things like heterosexual boundaries, not using insults when arguing, how to express anger, etc. need to be talked about when the two of you sit down. If it's the same old story after trying to communicate, then you'll reconsider whether or not you want to re-choose. I'm Tina, the world and I love you!
